The answer is Lou Ferrigno - Makenzie's birth story

About 3 1/2 weeks prior to my due date, I started to experience nose bleeds, extremely swollen feet and I just didn’t feel right. I work for the fire district and was talking to one of our battalion chiefs about how I didn’t feel good. He suggested I call one of the ambulance crews to come over to my station and check my BP. I reluctantly did. The paramedics took one look at my “cankles” and knew something was up. They took my BP and it had sky rocketed. I called my OB and they made me come in right away. I refused to ride in the ambulance or fire truck that showed up that day – but the paramedics refused to let me drive myself – so the compromise was to let one of our paramedics take the keys to my car, put me in the passenger side and drive me to the clinic… needless to say we had a fire truck and a ambulance to escort us there. So much for not making a scene. Kinda hard to not notice, don’t you think?

 

The Dr. made me do a non-stress test (NST) to make sure the baby was moving, which she was. I also had to have my blood drawn to make sure that I wasn’t preeclamptic – which they told me that if it came back positive they would take the baby NOW – luckily it was negative. They also put me on bed rest, now mind you one thing I talked about with the Dr. when we first got pregnant was that I DID NOT want to go on bed rest! He assured me that it has to be pretty serious for him to take someone out of their daily routine… so remembering this conversation all those months ago scared me pretty good. Now what was I going to do? I had saved up enough sick and vacation time at work to take a total of 7 weeks off after the baby was born… and 3.5 weeks left to go in my pregnancy meant that I would be burning half of what I had saved. I was so disappointed. They upped my BP meds – a lot! So I laid around at home for a week doing nothing but watching TV and other pointless things to keep me entertained. A week later I went back for my weekly OB check and my BP had gone down! YAY! I was released back to work on the condition I take it easy. It was also determined that they were going to induce labor at 39 weeks… wooooo hoooo baby was going to come a week early!!! They asked that I go to the hospital at 7 pm on 12/6/2009 to get everything started.

The night of 12/6/2009 my parents and both my best friends drove into town. We met for dinner. I was sooooooo incredibly anxious and barely ate anything! After dinner it was time to drive to the hospital to be induced. Matt took the long way and we drove thru our favorite part of town to look at the Christmas lights. They were gorgeous. It was snowing and there was defiantly magic in the air. We got to the hospital and because my feet were still very swollen I was wearing flip flops… in about 2 inches of snow, but it felt great considering I was hot from being 9 months pregnant! We got settled in our room and we saw that our view was of the lake and a big white-lighted Christmas tree… it added to the excitement. The nurses came in and basically got prepped for the Cervidil for a few hours. They finally put the Cervidil in around 9... I was really confused as to what was going to happen...I didn’t realize NOTHING was going to happen until morning when they would give me Pitocin. We invited a couple of our friends up to talk with us and pass the time... they ended up going to their hotel around 10 and thus started a miserable - but not the most miserable night of my stay. The nurse was a bit of a B... and kept coming into my room to check my vitals all night - ok I know this is her job and all... but is it really necessary to wake both me and Matt up every time... perhaps when you come into the room you could gently shut the door and not let it slam itself closed... so annoying! Matt was really mad!

The following morning I got my day nurse - who is my next door neighbor Julee! Dr finally gave the go-ahead for the Pitocin at 9 with instructions to up the dose every 20 minutes. so at first the contractions were not a big deal... kinda like ohhh what’s that? kind of sensation. The room started to fill up with our friends and family - which was great until the contractions got a little heavier that evening... By evening when everyone was talking about eating I was ready to eat a damn Yak! and didn’t think it was fair they had brought in cookies, chips etc... I was a little grumpy as it was that we hadn’t moved much - I was a whopping 1 cm - sooo annoying! Then they told me I had to have oxygen which scared the crap outta me - how come nobody said that was a possibility?! What the hell does that mean!? I was so scared!!! Then later that night at about 9 pm the Dr. came in and was pretty much in awe that I wasn’t progressing - he even said I was on the strongest dose of Pitocin he has ever given without someone pushing! and I was barely a 2!!! He even grabbed my insides and pulled them forward - talk about hurting - I felt like I was giving birth backwards!!! He decided to change out the Pitocin bag - in case the drug makers screwed up my bag. At about 10 I started to have some pretty big contractions and was moaning my way thru them.

At about 12:30 I finally asked for my epidural....they told me that there had been a stabbing and the anestiologist was in surgery with him - but that as soon as it was over they would have him come to my room. All the while I was being told to switch positions - every 20 minutes or so... but I was so uncomfortable that it was awful! then around 3 the nurse came in and took all the anestiologist stuff out of my room and told me that another patient would be getting her epidural before me since she was dilating better then I was... I was pissed - I felt like I had waited in line forever just to have someone cut in front of me... around 4 I asked where the hell my epidural was and the nurse told me that the Dr. was still in surgery with the stabbing guy - so that cut in line bitch still hadn’t had her epidural either!? I flat was sobbing - I could stop crying!!! My poor husband couldn’t do anything to help me calm down. He just rubbed my back and told me it was all going to be worth the wait!!!

Around 6:30 - 6 hours after I asked for my epidural the anestiologist finally came into my room. They had me bend over the pillow and told me I would have to breathe thru the contractions... ok fine.... but apparently not fine - the Dr was a complete ass and kept telling me I was doing it wrong and that I was breathing too hard - I am having a contraction you asshole - you try doing that - while bent over your huge ass stomach while someone pokes a foot long needle in your back. (Again, I was pretty damn grumpy) He finally gets the epidural in and I start to feel better – can’t even feel the contractions - thank GOD! I finally got some sleep and was woken up by my OB at around 9 (24 hours after starting labor) - he checked me and I was a 4! WOOO HOOO I had progressed... I was so excited until he told me that the baby isn’t going to be able to make it thru my pelvic bones. He said that mine are just too tight - ok great every girl wants to hear how tight they are - until they are trying to push a kid out! He said that we would be doing an emergency c-section in 20 minutes. (Thank goodness my parents were in the room - Matt too... but they were able to calm me the heck down!!!) A few seconds later (I am sure it was closer to the 20 minutes) I was being wheeled into the OR (which if you are lucky enough to never had surgery - is about 62 degrees of freezingness) the next thing I know Matt is sitting down next to me holding my hand and I can hear the surgery team talking about who was the actor that played the incredible hulk... seriously?! I told them I thought their music choice sucked and they could have at least played Christmas songs or Tenacious D (who if you do not know is Jack Black's very raunchy very funny band) Dr. laughed and said he liked Tenacious D - I knew I loved that man! Next thing I hear is my daughter's cry. HOLY CRAP!!! This just happened!!! They are all saying things like "Happy Birthday" "Whoa she is sooo little" "Look at that head" - They take her over to the warming bed - upside down by one foot!!! and start cleaning her etc, she takes one more cry and then nothing but little grunts and whimpers... I tell husband to move the F over he is blocking my view!! (Still grumpy?)

They call Matt over and he cuts her cord... he finally brings her to me and I go to touch her face (BIG MISTAKE) but my arms are now made of concrete and I punch my newborn in the face!!! She didn’t even cry! I give her kisses and tell her how much I love her - they tell Matt he can take her to the recovery room and I tell him nobody is to hold her before I get to! Next thing I know I cannot keep my eyes open and I am passed out!!! My daughter was born at 9:53 am on Tuesday December 8 2009.

I wake up as we are leaving the OR to head back to the recovery room and as I am wheeled in I see my mom and I immediately start crying - I am a mom now too!!! Matt finally brings my baby over too me and I really get to see just how little she is - 5 lbs 4 oz - how did this tiny child come out of me!? I am a big girl - and she is about the size of one of my boobs! ha!! And got my first glimpse at that cone head... poor thing! Also got to see just how cute she is!

The next couple days were ok - I wasn’t in a lot of pain but was very very tired. Makenzie kept me up around the clock. I was soooo ready to come home but little miss went and lost too much weight - so much we had to do a car seat challenge to make sure she could ride in a car seat and be able to breathe... when we finally passed the test Makenzie got weighed one last time and weighed in at 4 lbs 12 oz - she was just sooo little!